I often wonder why it is that I’m here, and whether the life of one man really makes a difference. Is it really all just about this day to day existence? Grow up, get educated, get a job so you can afford to have a family and children, so you can raise them to grow up, get educated, get a job… Such a cycle seems like a waste from a larger perspective, or am I just taking too wide a view? Shall I resign myself to the momentary pleasures of life, seeking them out wherever I may find them, or is there a deeper meaning, a great beyond which I should be seeking.
In this, I understand the desire for some type of faith, some kind of prescribed meaning. Yet even this I question, and wonder if this is merely wishful thinking. Is faith simply another feel good methodology, holding no true meaning? I mean, they do call it blind faith for a reason. Another point of thought. If what we imagine, or what we perceive, is what defines our reality, then who’s to say that this faith, this higher power, isn’t some subjective creation of our own thoughts and desires? Many of the faithful even describe it as such. The Gods, merely a minimization and personification of certain aspects of some unknowable and unintelligible force.
I don’t pretend to know all the answers, and am continually searching myself. I also know that nobody else has the answers for which I seek. Those can only come through personal experience. I can take guidance, and assistance all I want, and those are necessary, but what I am truly seeking, and the only answers I’ve ever received, came from within. Even those who have guided me on this journey only pointed me in the direction to find the answers. I was the one who had to take the action and grab hold of them myself.
In this introspection, I once again find the answer to my question hidden within. My very existence and all that surrounds me is subject to my own perception. The power of thought runs deep in the lives of man. Yet there is also a shared existence with those that surround us with their own powers of perception and persuasion. We all intertwine in this web of life, with one thought, one action, forever changing the entire structure of our existence. Think about how one interaction with another being in this world forever changed you and your way of thinking, for good or ill. Being on the receiving end, we are fully aware of its implications in our own life. Yet how many lives have we changed ourselves? Which small, imperceivable action forever altered the web of lives connected to us?
It’s rare that we ever see this, while we are so blinded by our own limited view of everything around us. Consider existence as a web or fabric in which all things are intertwined. One thought, leading to one act, can alter the course for one person, which in turn leads to their own thought and action, altering the course for still others, etc. In effect, one person’s subjective thoughts have the power to change objective reality on a grand scale with imperceptible yet profound implications.
To me that is affirmative, that one’s life truly makes a difference in the world around us. Regarding the meaning of it all, I still believe that to be a subjective and personal question to be answered by yourself. The only thing I can surmise thus far is, don’t be a dick.
Evolving Psychosis 