23 years ago, I couldn’t imagine still being alive, let alone in a place where I wanted to live. I felt helpless, hopeless and beyond redemption. I carried with me a suitcase full of issues that could fill a library. Struggling with ideas of heaven and hell, I was damned, lost, dubbed demon by all, … More 23
Creativity seems to require a bit of boredom and/or displeasure in life as it stands. Why else would we be compelled to create something that isn’t there, or to look at things through a different lens (pun intended). Today is a day where nothing is wrong, but nothing seems to go right. Lack of proper … More Boredom and Creativity
I started Facebook stalking people from my past and what’s come of their lives today. Some are still stuck in the same cycles, other’s have moved on to what appears to be better lives, and some are now dead from the life we led. The common denominator is that I wasn’t anywhere to be seen. … More Back In My Day
Verdant transformations becoming, bringing all the light of the stars into an earthly form. The world no longer holds the same meaning, as a child outgrows foolish dreams. The beginning is behind us and the end has yet to come. In between lies growth and pain and suffering, as we learn release. There is nothing … More Release of Self
Allow me a moment of release, as I allow this darker piece of myself to have its moment in the sun. I’ve spent the majority of my life trying to get out into the world and find my place in it. Now I constantly attempt to avoid the world, or at least the people in … More Evanescent Parasite
Seeking solace in nature’s embrace has been the theme of my life these past few years, and even more so in the past few months. I’ve struck a bond with the land behind my home especially, in which I take care of it and it takes care of me. I take my stress, anxiety, anger, … More Seeking Solace
I feel the old magic coming back, and I believe I’m moving closer to my goals. Perhaps this is just the short road towards insanity. Perhaps my physical issues will soon incapacitate me and make daily life near impossible. Any number of potential issues lie ahead. However, there is also hope that those things which … More Moonrise
It’s been 22 years now since I began this unexpected journey in recovery. It’s been a hell of a ride, with all its ups and downs, but I can’t imagine ever wanting to go back to the life I led. I’m still a flawed individual, no doubt there, but compared to who I was, I’ve … More Reborn
Battling mental illness on a conscious level is no mean feat. By this I mean being fully aware of the illness, the way your own mind works, the situations and people surrounding you, and the effects that they have, while attempting as best you can to maneuver the curves as they come along. There is … More A Mind of Its Own
I often question things like purpose in life, as all of us do. Looking for direction and meaning in everything I do, wondering what the karmic effect might be for each and every situation. Sometimes I join the procession of unconscious thought, and just go along with everyone around me. Perhaps it will have a … More True Purpose
Evolving Psychosis 